On Invisalign: “You’ll probably lose weight."

Well folks I gained 7 pounds.

A preface I’ve shared before: As a white, cis, hetero, able-bodied, thin woman who more or less typically fits into the standard of beauty in American culture, it feels a little eye-rolly to be sharing this. And these words are true for me. Kind and constructive conversation is always welcome.

A Rite of Passage

I had braces for exactly 365 days. It was from the spring of 8th grade to the spring of 9th grade. I even got my first real and committed relationship while I had a mouth full of metal. He asked me to be his girlfriend before I got on the bus at the end of the school day. As he held my hand, my teenage heart leaped in my chest and my braces glittered in the sunshine. Then the next thrill came when I got my braces off. Not only because what was making out going to feel like without them, but because I was finally free and wow look how straight and shiny my smile was. 

But of course, I was a delinquent teen when it came to my orthodonture care. I lost my retainer within the first few months and my mom had warned me, she wasn’t going to buy me another one. Totally fair Carol. So as teeth do when you’re still growing, within a few years they moved back to where I started pre-braces and my crooked yet wide smile stayed for 20 years. 

Then I turned 35 and it was like a magical little switch flipped and my body started doing some shit. Generally, I just feel more creeky¹ and less limber. And also I started having some real sensitivity issues with my pearly whites. Brushing my teeth was uncomfortable and rinsing with cold water was absolutely not an option anymore. And while my regular dentist visits were going fine, they were no longer pleasant. Sitting through a cleaning was akin to nonstop nails on a chalkboard.

So last year when at a routine dental exam the hygienist was like “Yeah girl you’re really sensitive because your lower gums are receding big time. That’s from crowding and it’s exposing the root and bone of your lower teeth.” I was like whoa how do I stop this and also I’m vain and want to keep a nice smile?! 

Enter Invisalign

My mid-30s investment was my mouth. And now with years of wisdom and discipline under my belt, I was going to freaking crush this and never let my teeth move back to candidate for gingival grafting territory. 

Overall my experience has been fine, even great. It’s not the biggest hassle in the world. Technology has come a long way so I don’t have a mouth full of metal which is nice. But what really sucks about Invisalign is that eating is sort of a whole ordeal. I can’t just have a quick snack or take a little taste. 

Eating now requires the removal of the plastic trays that are molded to my teeth. While I’ve really honed this skill so that it can be done quickly and discreetly, there is still the occasional drool string and slurping sound. And then once eating is done, a full floss and brush really does feel the best before putting the trays back in. Sometimes I can get away with a quick floss and rinse, or even just a water rinse and be on my way. But really, snacks on the go are not easily in the cards right now and that’s annoying.

There’s been something else that happens now that I have “the world’s most advanced clear aligners.” When people have asked me how Invisalign is going I answer pretty honestly. It’s been fine but it’s inconvenient and I’m hungry a lot. I miss snacking and sometimes I sadly just pass on yummy bites in the moment because it is a whole freaking thing. Unequivocally 9/10 the response is “Well that’s a good thing! Less snacking means you’ll probably lose weight!” Some people have even asked me how much weight I’ve lost since starting Invisalign.

No Body Asked for This

I can’t blame folks. We reside in a society steeped in diet culture, something that is not our individual fault because it’s an entire industry that’s been designed to profit off of us disliking our bodies and feeling pressure to change them to fit an ideal that has been constructed and upheld while being completely unattainable.² 

I mean, in some ways, we all are [victims] because diet culture is insidious and affects us all, even if we don't realize it at the time.

I believe in placing blame on what is truly driving diet culture, which is anti-fatness and weight stigma and bias. I don’t believe in placing the onus on any one individual.

-

Shana Minei Spence

And you know what happened on my still ongoing Invisalign journey? I gained weight. And you know what also happened? I cared a lot more than I thought I would. Then I wanted to. I even had a whole session with my therapist about it. Logically I know how surface-level it is, and how it’s a mentally exhaustive expense of energy. A 7-pound weight gain is a normal fluctuation throughout a menstrual cycle for god’s sake. I’m getting all caught up in my early 2000s-influenced, straight-sized millennial white girl bullshit. 

Please cue my girl Alanis because isn’t ironic? That our presumed understanding of something being “good” and “a convenient way” to lose weight… The opposite happened. 

The Claws of Diet Culture Run Deep

I’ve written before about making peace with my body and the internet’s insidious, yet also blatant, ways it wedges criticism and negativity into my self-image.

What’s been embedded from my formative years and all the time that’s followed, has evolved into a continuous practice that sometimes makes progress.³ 

Could it be that my recent orthodontic journey has just aligned with the time in my life when I’m entering a natural aging process upon which my body inevitably changes?

Could it be that our society makes it damn near impossible to embrace change or frame change in a positive and loving way?

And could it be that all bodies are good bodies that have negative days and positive days?

Yes. The answer to all is yes.

While I’m just over here trying to take care of my gum health, I am left wading in toxic waters. All of us are, all the live long day. Some days I’ve got it in me to block out the noise and be at peace with where I’m at and who I am. Other days, I barely make it out alive from a shame spiral that leaves me feeling worthless for the newfound softness of my physical body.

I just wanna tear my tender incisors through a goddamn bagel and live my life. Every body deserves that. 

Stacked Support

There are so many great writers, activists, and other voices who continue to advocate for not only changing the conversations around our bodies but systemic changes that dismantle diet culture. There is so much more out there, this is just my current shortlist, but I always find support, education, and validation in these wonderfully done newsletters:

• Big Undies

• The Nutrition Tea Substack

• Be With Your Body

• Body Type

• unflattering

• The Review of Beauty by Jessica DeFino
  , specifically this recent article about fake teeth and its connection/hold on beauty culture felt very timely.

• And a new podcast by my colleagues, friends, and fellow stackers

  Kate Moore
  and
  Ruby Chandler
  : The Duality of Harm and Healing is a deep look into our current structures of Wellness, Fitness, and Yoga.

I’m so glad you’re here and would be even more jazzed if you tapped the <3 to give this a “like” and/or shared it with a friend. I post new entries once or twice a month and you can catch up on my thoughts about being medicore, boobs, regret, mothering, the internet, and finding meaning in it all until the next one arrives.

1. Siri autocorrected this to creepy which doesn’t feel totally untrue.

2. I got the heading title No Body Asked For This from the podcast of the same name. Kendra Crabtree and Megan Moss, two fat friends, discuss the damaging effects of diet culture, interview exceptional guests, and talk about intersectionality and pop culture.

3. I quoted myself. Thanks for bearing with me friends.