This is a beautiful post. I was watching a clip of someone who lost their Mother, at a far too early age, and I wrote down a beautiful quote: “I love talking about this. It’s only a beautiful thing -- all of the unexpressed love. The grief will remain with us forever, because we never get enough time with one another, but I hope this grief stays with me because it’s all of the unexpressed love I didn’t get to tell her -- and I told her all the time.”
I’m not sure what it will be like to see a comment pop up on this post but when you mentioned this earlier in our call I wanted to go read more about your story. I didn’t know you’re part of DDC and I don’t have the “right” words for commenting. All this is to say that it takes a lot of courage to face grief. Especially as it evolves over the many years. ❤️❤️❤️
God I love you and how raw you can be, sharing such strong emotions! The Dead Dad Club is real, and it sucks! But having best friends to lean on during these hard times really does give you the support and true understanding that those not a part of the club can comprehend. I am so grateful for you, for thousands of reasons! But I am really proud of you for creating this writing space and sharing everything! Love you, JANE!
My friend this was so vulnerable and beautiful. Sharing stories like this is so healing and I thank you for taking the time to find the strength to share yours.
Of course! Stories connect us and support us in the healing process. If you're interested, it's what I do and write about. I have a publication and podcast specifically for that and would be humbled to have you share this story there if you're interested.
Your account of your lived experiences around your father’s death evoked many memories in me. My dad died of a heart attack (acute myocardial infarction - such a benign clinical reference) age 55. Two months after graduating college and two months before moving 1000 miles away for graduate school. I let my graduate school enrollment as my reason for just not caring. Looking the other way. I can’t be bothered. I had never bonded with either parent so I considered indifference as my choice.
That was 53 years ago. A lot of time to revisit the death and my overall role in a 5-party dysfunctional family. Due to a lack of exhaustive house cleaning, which to me seemed required, my own scrambling lifetime has been just that. Thank you for planting my face square in that frame. 🙏🏽
My father died 2 years ago on St Patrick's Day. He was 98. Every now and then a Facebook memory post shows up. Several times over a few years I mentioned he was in the hospital mainly for dehydration. Which is why some days I go through two bottles of water. I have found it goes down easier with a caffeine free tea bag stuck down in it for brewing. I have six bottles I alternate going through.
My mother's stroke and eventual passing in 1999 hit me harder. I, a convert, said a Hail Mary for her every day. And when I pray, I pray as I heard and learned growing up in the Baptist church.
When my husband died in 2017, on his birthday, our anniversary, the day of his passing, I eat something I knew he liked.
Maybe if you tried this in regards to your father the grief would lighten a little.
This is a beautiful post. I was watching a clip of someone who lost their Mother, at a far too early age, and I wrote down a beautiful quote: “I love talking about this. It’s only a beautiful thing -- all of the unexpressed love. The grief will remain with us forever, because we never get enough time with one another, but I hope this grief stays with me because it’s all of the unexpressed love I didn’t get to tell her -- and I told her all the time.”
Thank you for saying this and sharing that quote E.G.! It rings so true <3<3
I’m not sure what it will be like to see a comment pop up on this post but when you mentioned this earlier in our call I wanted to go read more about your story. I didn’t know you’re part of DDC and I don’t have the “right” words for commenting. All this is to say that it takes a lot of courage to face grief. Especially as it evolves over the many years. ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so grateful you read it and I'm so grateful to know you <3<3
God I love you and how raw you can be, sharing such strong emotions! The Dead Dad Club is real, and it sucks! But having best friends to lean on during these hard times really does give you the support and true understanding that those not a part of the club can comprehend. I am so grateful for you, for thousands of reasons! But I am really proud of you for creating this writing space and sharing everything! Love you, JANE!
JANE! I'm crying. And I love/hate that we are in the DDC together. Thank you for always being there!
My friend this was so vulnerable and beautiful. Sharing stories like this is so healing and I thank you for taking the time to find the strength to share yours.
Thank you for taking the time to read it and for your kind words! <3<3
Of course! Stories connect us and support us in the healing process. If you're interested, it's what I do and write about. I have a publication and podcast specifically for that and would be humbled to have you share this story there if you're interested.
https://fragilemoments.substack.com/
Thank you for sharing your publication! Just subscribed and I'm excited to dig in. Feel free to email me directly if you need hello@emmypsinger.com
Too kind! And thank you! I'll be sending you an email shortly about sharing your story :)
Your account of your lived experiences around your father’s death evoked many memories in me. My dad died of a heart attack (acute myocardial infarction - such a benign clinical reference) age 55. Two months after graduating college and two months before moving 1000 miles away for graduate school. I let my graduate school enrollment as my reason for just not caring. Looking the other way. I can’t be bothered. I had never bonded with either parent so I considered indifference as my choice.
That was 53 years ago. A lot of time to revisit the death and my overall role in a 5-party dysfunctional family. Due to a lack of exhaustive house cleaning, which to me seemed required, my own scrambling lifetime has been just that. Thank you for planting my face square in that frame. 🙏🏽
Thank you for sharing Gary.
My father died 2 years ago on St Patrick's Day. He was 98. Every now and then a Facebook memory post shows up. Several times over a few years I mentioned he was in the hospital mainly for dehydration. Which is why some days I go through two bottles of water. I have found it goes down easier with a caffeine free tea bag stuck down in it for brewing. I have six bottles I alternate going through.
My mother's stroke and eventual passing in 1999 hit me harder. I, a convert, said a Hail Mary for her every day. And when I pray, I pray as I heard and learned growing up in the Baptist church.
When my husband died in 2017, on his birthday, our anniversary, the day of his passing, I eat something I knew he liked.
Maybe if you tried this in regards to your father the grief would lighten a little.