My 5 Year Old Loves Using The F Word
She sings her heart out and it doesn't really bother me.
It started last summer when she was four-and-a-half. I was putting her to bed and she asked me to sing “Maroon” by none other than Taylor Alison Swift. She had her back to me, I had specific instructions on exactly how, where, and the desired pressure of scratching her back, when I started singing the song off-key. This is my specialty. I’ve got musicality, I’ve got lyrics, I do not have actual singing ability.
I get to the bridge and I sort of forget the words at this point…
“And I wake with your memory over me
That's a real hmmm-hmm-hmm…”
In an instant my tiny kid has whipped around, removed her thumb from her mouth with very intense purpose, looks me dead in the eye and says: “‘That’s a real fucking legacy.’ Those are the words, Mama.”
I’ve framed “explicit lyrics” as Power Words and we refer to them as such in our house. We can sing songs (at both inside voice and outside voice volume) with Power Words, and we also talk about how that is generally the only time we use Power Words.
My approach has simply been if I don’t make it a thing, it won’t be a thing. And also, I don’t want my kids singing to herself on the playground “Play a song with a fucking beat” or “I’m so fucking horny” as her current obsession is a mix between Chappell Roan and Sabrina Carpenter. She is no longer in her T. Swift era.
I mean, she’s five-and-a-half so like I don’t really think every reference is landing fully with her. I also understand that she is a sponge and probably almost all things are making some form of an impression on her. I freaking love Pop music and I want to share that love with her. And I can spiral real quick, getting way too ahead of myself, on what it means and feels like to be raising a daughter in today’s world. There’s an inevitable trap somewhere in whatever course I navigate.
My brain currently sounds like The Gummy Bear Song, so getting my thoughts out into coherent and cohesive words isn’t really happening. Which brings me to
of .Her recent article As a mother to teen daughters, I'm not that concerned about Sabrina Carpenter's influence (...but I am about Gracie Abrams) is a great pop culture and feminist analysis. Written so much better and brilliantly than my brain can do these days, I’m sharing her words in place of a long-winded and unclear essay from me. Please enjoy!
I’m so glad you’re here. Catch up on my other thoughts about being medicore, boobs, mothering, the internet, and finding meaning in it all. <3
I like this whole "Power Words" thing you have going. We tell our kids swear words are only for adults, just like alcohol is only for adults (because...I definitely still swear around then -- and drink!). I don't actually have a problem with them saying swear words (and actually think it's pretty funny) but mainly don't want them to think it's okay to do...whenever they want. I like how this approach opens the door a little, without swinging it wide open: these words are okay in certain circumstances, but please don't galavant around the playground saying them on the regular. Bravo! Going to implement this in my house :)